


Stranded

by arawen898



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Brief Pregnancy Discussion, Cunnilingus, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Oral Sex, Romance, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:20:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21562102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arawen898/pseuds/arawen898
Summary: The Last Jedi AU. What if Rey decided to come with Ben when he offered her to join him after they had defeated Snoke? What if his shuttle crash-landed and they had to collaborate to survive? The event makes them grow closer and feelings deeply buried finally come up to the surface.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 175





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever Reylo fic! I am excited but also scared because there are so many good Reylo fic writers out there so hopefully I got it somehow right. This first chapter is only plot so some might find it a bit boring but it is necessary for the rest of the story and I promise that the pace picks up in the next chapters. Also for the ones who haven't read my previous fics, English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for grammar and language mistakes. Otherwise, enjoy!

Rey woke up with her whole body aching. It took a while for her to get a full grip of her surroundings and what had actually happened. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked around. She had taken Ben Solo’s offer to join him after they had killed Snoke, in hope of maybe convincing him to join the Resistance later. They were flying in his command shuttle when suddenly it started to shake violently and after that, she couldn’t remember anything. It appeared they had crash-landed somewhere and the impact of the landing must have knocked her out. Which made her think of Ben. 

_Ben!_

Turning her head to the right she didn’t see him in his chair but on the floor behind it. His seat belt had been broken when they took off so he had never put it on and the impact of the crash must’ve thrown him off the chair. She could see his chest rise and fall which meant that he was breathing and alive at least. Had this been a long time ago, she would have left him to die. But things were different now and given the circumstances; that she had no idea where they were and the fact that she would never be able to get away from here on her own, it was extremely important that she had someone to help her with that. She knew he would, he had asked her to come with him after all. 

She unbuckled her seat belt and turned towards where Ben was, wincing as she felt pain in her right side. Carefully, she touched her ribcage and luckily nothing there hurt that much which meant that she had no fracture. She rose and went over to him, wobbling and she had to support herself not to fall. When she reached him she sat down on her knees at level with his shoulder and looked at his face. She remembered when he had taken off his helmet the first time they met and he had captured her, how surprised she was that someone seemingly so evil could look so beautiful. Her hand reached out to touch his shoulder and she shook him gently. “Ben! Wake up!” She said. When he didn’t respond, she shook him a little more and practically screamed his name. Finally, he groaned and slowly turned his face upwards and opened his eyes. When their eyes met, they could both feel the Force bond. Rey sensed that he had pain in his arm. He had no other visible wounds that she could see but a scratch on his forehead. 

“Are you alright?” She asked him, hoping that he was, more than she wanted to admit. 

“I think so.” He opened his eyes fully and moved them from side to side, keeping his head still. “What happened? Where are we?” 

“I don’t know. It appears we got turbulence of some sort and crash-landed somewhere.” 

Ben groaned, clearly not happy with the news but then why should he be? 

She noticed his sleeve had been ripped open and he had big wound on his upper arm which was bleeding. Seeing it scared her and her heart started beating faster. 

“You’re injured, your arm...”

“I know my arm hurts, and you know it too that I know.” 

“Any headache? Sickness? Breathing problems? Do you have pain anywhere else?” She knew she sounded like a mother, but she had to make sure he was alright. 

“My head hurts a bit but I don’t feel lightheaded or sick. My back hurts too but if I try to move I think it might feel better.” 

Rey reached out her hand then, without even having to think, to offer him help up. 

“Take my hand, I will help you up. Try to walk a few steps to the wall and then sit down again.”

Ben looked at her hand, reluctant at first, before putting his gloved hand in it. Right when they made contact, an electric feeling went through her arm and soon spread to her whole body. It wasn’t as intense as when they had touched hands through the Force in the hut on Ahch-To, but almost. Then their eyes met again, only for a moment, but it was still enough to increase the feeling that went through Rey’s body when they touched. Those eyes of his. Those dark, intense eyes of his that made her both hot and cold at the same time. 

_Wonder if he felt the same?_

Rey mentally slapped herself. They were stranded somewhere unknown and no time should be wasted. 

The pain in Ben’s right arm couldn’t have been that bad because he was able to use it for support, which was good because even if Rey was a strong woman he was rather heavy. When he finally was standing up he managed to take a few big steps to the wall and then sit down and slouch against it. He didn’t look that affected by the other movements though. Rey moved closer to him to inspect his wound. It didn’t look deep but it was still ugly and could easily lead to an infection if not treated fast. 

“This doesn’t look very good. You might need antibiotics for that. Do you have any medi-kits somewhere?”

“I do have a few in the back, unless they have been destroyed.” 

“Will you let me go check for them?” 

“Do I have much of a choice?” 

He didn’t look her in the eyes when they talked, he hadn’t since she had helped him up. Without saying anything else, Rey went to the back of the shuttle and was relieved to see that it was mostly intact. The front had probably taken the most of the hit when they crashed. It didn’t take long before she found the cupboard with the kits and there wasn’t one but five of them. Opening one she had everything she needed; bandage, Bacta, scissor, antibiotic, pain killers. Grabbing the box under her arm she looked in the other cupboards and found food supplies, water, some soap and clothes. Granted, they were all his clothes and they were all in black. There were also several blankets and some towels. When she was about to go back she noticed a door on her right. She opened it and was presented with a ‘fresher. There was no shower but enough so you could get rid of bodily waste and a basin for washing your hands afterwards. It was good enough though and she was pleasantly surprised, she hadn’t expected to find anything like that here. She returned to Ben who sat in the same position as she had left him. They had clothes, food, medi-kits and hopefully clean water so at least it was something. 

“I found several kits but I think one is enough for now for both of us.” Rey spoke as she sat down next to him. 

Ben looked down at her then, eyes neutral, and replied with a simple “Good.” 

Rey sighed. He clearly wasn’t keen on talking but that would have to change sooner or later if they wanted to get out of here, wherever “here” was. 

Ben made a sound when Rey grabbed his arm, if only loosely, to check his wound closer. 

“There is no redness around it yet which is good at least. Do you feel feverish?" 

He shook his head, still not looking her in the eyes. 

“Good. I am going to rip this sleeve off and tie it around your arm to try to stop the bleeding, alright?” 

He nodded, his face stern. “Do what you have to do.” 

Rey began cleaning his wound, the bleeding stopping soon after she had tied the piece of sleeve around his bicep. He didn’t react when she washed the wound and the area around it with water but when she used the disinfectant he gritted his teeth and he had to keep himself from screaming. 

“Stop!” He suddenly shouted, shot his eyes at her and yanked his arm away. “This hurts too much!” 

“I’m sure you have had wounds cleaned several times before so why should this be any different?” She was a bit annoyed by him, here she was trying to help him and he was acting like a child. “Not much longer now. Please try to stay still unless you want this wound to give you a slow and painful death.” 

She took hold of his arm again and by accident ran her thumb just over the curve of his bicep. It made her stop for a second, thinking how muscular he had looked when they talked through the Force and she swallowed hard at the memory. The action seemed to have calmed Ben down because now his arm wasn’t tense any longer but as relaxed as it could be. Rey didn’t think more about it but continued her ministrations. The wound looked better the longer she cleaned and when she was satisfied she applied a bandage around the arm. Ben kept his face away from her the whole time but he managed to stay still aside from a few winces here and there and he hissed every time she applied more Bacta. 

“There.” Rey said, quite proud of herself, as she tied the ends of the bandage together. “I think it will do. Does it feel alright?”

She didn’t expect him to look at her but to her surprise, he did and he nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah it feels alright.” 

Rey nodded in return and was about to turn around and stand up when she felt Ben grab her wrist. She stopped in her tracks, not because of him touching her but more because of how familiar it felt and she wasn’t prepared for that. Turning her head back towards him she saw him draw a couple of deep breaths, as if preparing to say something he wasn’t used to saying. 

“Thank you, Rey.” 

He had a determined look on his face, like he really wanted to show that he meant what he said. 

“You’re welcome.” 

The left corner of her mouth quirked upwards and when Ben let go of her, there was a feeling of loss that she almost wished she didn’t feel. She swallowed and decided to change the subject. 

“I also found the food in the back. How long do you think it will be enough?” 

“It is meant for one person for two weeks, assuming one eats three times a day. If we ration it and only eat while necessary, it should be enough for two weeks for us too.” 

_Two weeks, hopefully they wouldn’t be stranded for that long._

“Alright.” Rey put her hands on her hips, paced back and forth a couple of times and appeared to be in deep thinking mode. Eventually, she stopped. “We should ration it then. Are you hungry now?” 

“No, I can wait.” 

Rey gave a simple nod in response. Taking a quick look around she noticed that the windows at the front were, miraculously, not broken but only had a few cracks here and there. Maybe the crash hadn’t damaged the ship as much as she thought it had? Looking out, she was met with wintery landscapes as far as the eye could see. The sun was peeking through the clouds but there were darker clouds in the distance, a sign that a storm was coming and one could tell it was rather late in the day. With her mind having been so occupied with healing Ben she hadn’t had the chance to concentrate on much else. 

“I think we might be on Hoth.” Rey said and turned back to Ben. 

“That’s not good, we better look out for the wampas then.” 

“Wampas?”

“Giant beasts, horned white species who live here. They primarily hunt tauntauns but have been said to attack humans too. If you know about Hoth you should know about wampas too.” 

“I apologize for only hearing about Hoth being a very cold planet and nothing about its inhabitants.” Rey said sarcastically. 

Ben looked down in his lap and shook his head, a cunning smile forming on his lips. He was enjoying this. 

“Well, good that I have taught you about something potentially life-threatening then. Luckily I don’t think they are able to break into this ship as long as we lock the doors. We should also be protected from the weather, but I don’t know for how long we will be protected from the cold. I think it’s the safest if we don’t leave the shuttle, only for air if necessary.” 

The thought made Rey catch her breath. Being trapped here with Ben; they would either find a way to agree or they would probably use their lightsabers on each other again. “Only for air...” she repeated his words in her mind. It wasn’t that cold in the shuttle yet but when night fell, both knew that it could be critical. 

“Do you think the ‘fresher works?” 

“No idea. But I would like to try to find out, I need to go...” 

Rey immediately understood. “I see. Take my hand and I will lead you to it.” 

Ben took the hand she offered and with the help of her strength and using the wall for support and leverage he managed to stand up. He groaned as he felt pain in his back but his lips formed a thin line, not wanting to show too much weakness. 

“There, put your arm around my shoulders.” 

He did as she said and slowly they started to walk towards the back. This was when Rey noticed how heavy and big Ben really was. She had noticed his size before and she had seen his bare upper body so she knew he had lots of muscles but now it was even more prominent.

“Alright?” She glanced up at him but his focus was only forward. 

“Yes.” He let go of her then and began walking on his own, staggering. 

“Ben, be careful...” 

“I am!” He said, a bit harsher than he intended. 

Rey watched as he went the last few meters, more than once did she want to reach out when she thought he was going to fall. At last he reached the door, opened it and went inside. Rey pondered on whether she should stand right outside the door in case something would happen but decided against it. She could hear him moving about inside and soon he opened the door again. 

“It works!” He exclaimed, his tone way different from before. “We have running water but we should be restrictive with that too, not use it more than we have to.” 

“Excellent. We should change clothes as well and especially you. I can get some for you if you want.” 

Rey immediately regretted her suggestion, now that he was up and standing there was no way he would let her help him with anything. 

“No, I'll get them myself.” 

Ben walked past her towards the cupboard with the clothes. It was a wonder they hadn’t fallen out on the floor due to the impact of the crash, she thought, but then the handles seemed rather strong. All the time, she watched him step for step as he slowly but surely made his way over. He opened the cupboard and faster than she thought he was able to, he was back at her side and handed her a black long-sleeved shirt, a pair of pants, socks and a similar belt to the one he wore. 

“I took for you too. I know they are way too big for you but it’s the only thing I can offer.” 

Rey inspected the items. They would surely be too big for her, she would never be able to wear the pants if she didn’t have the belt. 

“Thank you.” She murmured, surprised he even cared to give her clothes too. 

Ben didn’t say anything in return, he was too focused on going back to the 'fresher without stumbling. Right when he was about to walk past her, an item of clothing dropped from Rey’s hands onto the floor. To her horror, she noticed it was a pair of black male boxers. 

“I...uhm...” She felt herself blushing. 

“Like I said, it is the only thing I can offer.” 

Ben tried to sound neutral but Rey could hear the strain in his voice, by no doubt he was embarrassed himself. Rey quickly bent down and grabbed the boxers from the floor. They took turns in using the ‘fresher to wash and change clothing. Ben's back felt better and better the more he moved and when it was turning dark, he was basically pain free. Rey had tried to put the lights on in the ‘fresher but it didn’t work. 

“The lights don’t work it seems.” Rey said as she stepped out. “Maybe we have to use our lightsabers to see when it gets dark outside?” 

“We can, but they can also draw unwanted attention to us, we shouldn’t use them...” 

“More than necessary, I get it.” 

“Excellent, you’re making progress I see.” 

He only gave her a quick glance, a sneer on his face, before going to the cupboard with the food in it and she felt like she wanted to snap something back but stopped herself in time. There was no use in arguing, they had to save all the energy they could if they wanted to make it out of here alive. Instead she took a moment to take in the feeling of wearing Ben’s clothes. They were too big, no doubt about that, but they were very comfortable and much thanks to the size of them. The belt had certainly come to use, both for the pants and for the boxers. A sudden warm feeling crept up Rey’s back as an image of Ben wearing those same boxers entered her mind. For a moment she was shocked but then the warmth spread from her back out her arms and down her legs, even to the very centre of her. She gasped inwardly when she imagined what was inside those boxers he wore and subconsciously reached out her hand to... 

“Rey?” 

Rey opened her eyes, not even realizing she had closed them in the first place, and discovered that her arm was stretched out from her body and Ben stood right in front of her with food. 

“Are you alright? I brought you some food, here.” 

He held out the bag with food supplies and she reached out her hand and took it.

“Yeah, I'm...Thank you.” She had to give her head a shake to focus on her surroundings and not the thoughts that only a minute ago had been running through her head. 

Ben eyed her suspiciously. This was not the first time today she had acted strange. He wasn’t able to reach her through the bond, she had shut him out ever since she took care of his wounds and he guessed it was because she didn’t want to feel his pain. Her behaviour could of course be some sort of reaction to the crash but he felt that it was something different, way different.

They ate later mostly in silence, sitting in the chairs facing forward, none of which really knew what to talk about but mostly because they were both exhausted. Darkness fell and the snow with it, the wind was howling outside and the cold air made itself known inside the shuttle too. They decided that it was time to go to sleep, or at least try to sleep now that their stomachs were full. When they were finished, Rey untied the sleeve piece from his arm because she didn’t dare having it on him in case he would develop stasis. She left the bandage on though since it looked like it hadn’t bled through, not yet at least. When she had fetched all the blankets she could find, she realized that even if they had many and they were quite warm, it still wouldn’t be enough for them to sleep without freezing. 

_The only way to keep warm was to..._

“We should sleep next to each other,” Ben said when she returned to where he was seated, his tone indifferent. “To keep ourselves warm through body heat, if you don’t mind.” 

Rey felt something she couldn’t really describe; dread because she was about to sleep next to the man who was her deadliest enemy not long ago but also excitement because she couldn’t shake the thoughts and feelings she had felt before. He wouldn’t harm her, she knew that. She also knew it was probably either this or die from the cold. It didn't take much time for her to make up her mind. 

“Do I have much of a choice?” 

He smirked at her mimicking his words. It was the first time since they came here that she had actually seen a hint of a real smile from him, a smile that wasn’t mocking in nature. 

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, just...” 

“No, it’s alright. I can lie like that, we have to survive after all. But you should lie on your left side, for your wound.” 

“Are you sure that is needed? I don’t feel nearly as much pain in it now.” 

“Better to not take any risks, if you put too much pressure on it it might start bleeding again.” 

Ben gave in and nodded. She was right, he had done that mistake far too many times before not to know what could happen if you didn’t give your wounds time to heal. 

Rey spread out several blankets on the floor before deciding it would cushion them enough, they could even use one folded blanket each as a pillow. She was the first one to lie down and Ben followed suit. He settled behind her, deciding it was for the best since he was way bigger than her and being a man his body temperature was higher than hers. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he was nervous. He knew the bodily reactions a man had in his sleep and since he needed to be pressed close to her, he fully expected his body to have that kind of reaction. But he also knew that this was the only way and, his body be damned, he hoped she wouldn’t find him disgusting. 

One arm came around her middle and he crept closer to her until they were pressed so close so they could feel the whole length of each other’s bodies. The only barriers between them were their clothes and a few blankets they both had wrapped around themselves. Ben wasn’t wearing his gloves any longer, he had taken them off before while using the ‘fresher and she felt his big hand press lightly into her stomach. 

“Is this fine?” 

Rey almost couldn't breathe. His voice was very near her ear and she felt goosebumps on her skin which were not from the cold. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” 

She had to struggle to get the words out. The way he was so considerate astonished her and the way his big body covered hers made her feel warm already but she wasn’t sure if it was his body heat or if it was the fact that she several times had dreamt of this and it was now reality. Before she could think any further, she heard him breathe heavily against her neck and his arm now hung loosely around her, indicating that he was already sound asleep. This and the snowstorm outside were the only sounds to be heard. His rhythmic breathing made her relax and she found herself drifting off too. Soon, they were both asleep and despite the situation they were in, both had the best night’s sleep in a very long time. 


	2. Chapter 2

Next morning, Ben woke up to find himself alone. The pain in his arm had subsided and he felt rather well-rested and better in general. But when he noticed that Rey wasn’t at his side, he started to panic internally. It wasn’t until he rose to a sitting position and saw her sitting in his chair maneuvering the machinery that he calmed down. 

“For how long have I been sleeping?” He asked to her back. 

“It is already afternoon, I have been up for probably at least a few hours. I left some food at your side, you should eat.” 

Ben turned to his right and she had indeed left a food package there. He felt really hungry so he emptied it in no time and when he stood up to use the ‘fresher, he could walk without pain. When he got out again, Rey still hadn’t moved from her place in the chair. 

“The machinery appears to be broken. We cannot fly away from here on our own, we need help from others. I went outside before to check the exterior. No major injuries to the ship, we were very lucky it seems. I tried to reach out a signal but I don’t know if it reached my friends. I might try again later.” 

“To what use for me?” Ben was standing only a few meters behind her now. “Your _friends_ are only going to leave me behind anyway.” He spat. 

This caused Rey to turn around. “Look, I am not leaving you here. I chose to come with you, remember?” 

“That is exactly the point. _You_ chose to come with _me._ If I come with you and your friends, there is no way they will let me live, you know they only want me dead.” He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to control his anger that was starting to rise beneath the surface. 

“And who do you think is going to come for your help then? General Hux? From what I’ve heard, loyalty is not something that the First Order prioritize. Besides, you left them. I doubt they would come for you anyway.” 

“You’re right, they will not.” He straightened and composed himself, rather relieved with that truth. The first thing they would do if they came here would be going after Rey and he couldn't allow that. “It is only us now, isn’t it?” 

The tone in his voice caught Rey’s attention, it sounded like he was far away in his thoughts, dreamy even. She rose from the chair, her hair that no longer was in tight buns flowed freely around her shoulders. Ben watched her as she strode towards him and he tensed when he felt himself react only by seeing her wearing his clothes. 

“For now, yes, it is.” She mumbled, fully aware of the way he looked at her. “How does your arm feel?” 

“It’s much better than it was, no more bleeding I believe.” He paused before speaking again. “Your answer before about joining me begs for me to ask another question.” He put his hands behind him and pressed his shoulders backwards. “Why _did_ you choose to come with me, Rey?” 

Rey was taken aback by his question. She herself knew why; because she at a later time would try to convince him to join the Resistance. But she didn’t dare telling him that, not yet. 

_There was something else, too._

“Why are you asking me that?” 

“I have been thinking about it a lot. You had just started a fairly good life, you had made friends, you had people around you who liked you. Why would you choose to come with the man you hated most of all not too long ago? I even gave you the choice and yet you chose to join me, why?” 

Rey pondered and figured it wouldn’t hurt if she said part of the truth at least. She looked up at him, almost no distance left between them now. 

“Because I believe there is still a small part in you that is good, and I want to help that part to grow.” 

Ben laughed but it was not a happy laugh, more of a sarcastic one and he shook his head. 

“You really don’t understand, do you Rey? You can’t change me, no one can.” 

“Ben, I have seen your thoughts and I have sensed your loneliness. Just like you have seen mine. You and I, thanks to the Force bond we share something unique, and I think that bond is the key for you to redeem yourself.” 

If Ben had taken in what she had just said, he didn’t show any reaction to it. His eyes were like two black holes and his majestic appearance made him suddenly look bigger than he already was. Still, Rey wasn’t afraid but quite the opposite. 

“If you thought you could come with me only to change who I am, you were wrong.” He said before he turned around and began to walk away from her. 

Rey was becoming furious. He was turning into Kylo Ren again but this time she wouldn’t let him fall back. 

“Ben!” She called after him, cringing at the desperation in her voice. 

He stopped and turned his head. “Don’t call me that.” He growled.

“Do you want to know the real reasons why I joined you? I didn’t join you to actually _change_ you, I joined you to help you become who you really are. I joined you because I hoped that one day you would realize that even you have some good left in you and that maybe you could join the Resistance.” 

At that last word, Ben’s dark eyes grew even bigger and he quickly turned back completely towards her. 

“No Rey, no! Are you mad? Haven’t you heard what I said? Even if I wanted to set my foot there they would to execute me the moment I arrived, the question is not if but how they would do it. You know this, Rey. Don't put me in that position.” 

“I told you, I will not let them! I will not let anyone harm you. Please Ben, believe me.” 

Ben simply turned around again; his head bent down, his stance wide and his hands were supposedly clasped together in front of him. It frustrated Rey not only that he didn’t believe her, but also that she couldn’t see his face and not tell what he was thinking. 

_He had shut her out._

“May I ask you then,” Rey began, she could feel the emotions starting to spill over but she pushed them back. “Why did you want me to join you? Was it simply because you want to rule the galaxy with me, or was it something else too?” 

Ben still stood in his place. He tried to keep his face still but it twitched when he heard the broken tone in her voice and her last question. But he couldn’t let her know the other reason, he couldn’t.

_Show no emotions, it makes you weak._

“Talk to me Ben, I beg you. Don’t do this to me!” 

“Don’t do _what_ , exactly?” Ben finally turned around and he walked back to where Rey was, stopping right in front of her. His chest heaved with every breath, his eyes burned into hers and sweat poured from his forehead despite the chill inside the wreck. “What am I to you? Ever since we arrived here you have acted strange, don’t think I haven’t seen it. Why do you care so much, Rey? I want answers, I know we both want it.” 

“Because I think I am in lo...” 

Rey’s heart leaped in her chest when she realized what she was about to say and her eyes widened. Would she really dare to say it? Ben looked like he was holding his breath, his body completely still. Suddenly he was looking at her with curiosity. 

“What, Rey? What were you going to say?” 

“I think I am in love with you!” 

She blurted out the words, not even sure if he had heard her because she said them so quick. But he stared down at her, his mouth half open and his arms, which had been crossed over his chest for a while now, dropped to his sides. 

“Say it again, Rey.” His voice was weak now, almost only a whisper. 

“I think I am in love with you, Ben Solo!” 

This time there was no doubt. Ben had to take a few steps backwards, obviously taken by her words. Rey felt like a stone had been lifted from her chest, or rather her heart. Ben averted his eyes and looked down, it was still impossible to read his emotions. When an unknown amount of time had passed he looked up at her again, his eyes filled with resent and he shook his head. 

“No, you cannot be.” 

Rey blinked and a sob escaped her throat, now she couldn’t hold back her tears any longer. “Yes, I am.” 

“No one loves me, no one can ever and will ever love me. I don’t deserve to be loved.” 

“You do, Ben. Please, listen to me...” She took a step towards him but he in turn took another step back, his hands held out before him in a defensive manner. 

“Why? I killed my own father. I can never be Ben Solo again, that man is dead. I will always be Kylo Ren to people, probably even my own mother. There is no hope for me, Rey, and there never will be. Your pity is the last thing I need.” 

“Ben, you have left the First Order. That in itself is a step towards being a better person. One cannot do everything at once, it takes time. Have you already forgotten why I chose to come with you? Because I believe in you and I want to help you to become the person I know you can be.” 

The anger left his face and she saw his shoulders slump down, his eyes still focused on her. She gained confidence and took another step towards him, this time he didn’t back away. 

“Please Ben, please believe me when I say that I love you. If you think it is only pity I feel for you, you’re wrong. It might have been so before, but not now. You have awoken feelings in me that I never thought I would be able to feel. I have tried to deny it but being here with you, alone, have made me realize my true feelings for you.” 

She was standing close to him again, so close that she could easily touch him if she wanted to but she decided against it for now. 

“When you murdered your father, you were still in Snoke’s claws. The person who did that was Kylo Ren, not Ben. You are not a monster, Kylo Ren was. To become a better person you have to let go of the past. I can help you, but I can’t do it if you won’t let me in.“ 

She reached for his hand and touched his fingers with hers, when he didn’t stop her she laced their fingers together. Ben glanced down at their joined hands before giving her his full attention again. 

“Ben, I never thought I would say this to you or to anyone for that matter, but I love you. Yes Ben, I love you.” She felt his hold on her fingers tighten and in response she cried harder, her voice thick. “Let Kylo Ren disappear, and let Ben Solo come forth. I will be here for you just like I have these last twenty-four hours. I promise to support you and stand by your side. Don’t hide away from me Ben, please, don’t hide away from me.” 

Rey felt exhausted after at last admitting both to herself and to the man in front of her that she loved him. Leaning into him, she pressed her forehead to his chest while sobs wrecked her body and to her relief, he didn't back away this time either. But what did he think? She knew he felt something for her but she could never put her finger on what, he had never let her see that. Ben squeezed her fingers even tighter, causing her to look up at him again. He was still looking at her, eyes unreadable, their fingers now grasping each other so tight that it was starting to hurt. Then, his whole body began to shake and it didn’t take long until he was crying too. 

Ben nearly broke down after hearing her confession. He couldn’t stop the stream of tears that now poured down his cheeks, tears that had been hidden away for so long for so many reasons. They didn't say anything, only held on to each other as he cried against her shoulder, the fabric becoming damp but she didn’t care. When she had just encountered him as Kylo Ren she never thought he was capable of breaking down in tears, even less crying at all. While she now pitied him she was also happy that he dared to take the step and release his suppressed emotions. Time seemed to stop and both felt like with every sob they shared, a small weight was lifted from their shoulders. 

Eventually, Ben pulled away from her but he kept their hands together. Tears were still falling but his breathing had slowed down. He looked so tired, dark circles covered the skin under his eyes but it didn’t make him look less beautiful. It even made him more so because there was a vulnerability which Rey had never seen before. Slowly, he bent his head forward and angled it slightly to the side. His eyes flickered between Rey’s and her mouth and her heart was hammering in her chest. Despite the fact that it was rather cold inside the ship she felt like she was burning up. He was so close now, only one more movement would bring them together. Their breaths intermingled and everything was so intense that Rey felt like she wanted to disappear yet she wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment. 

Then, he kissed her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp! That was a bit of a cliffhanger at the end. Next chapter will be way longer and that’s when things start to happen for real ;) Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one month ago I watched the new Star Wars movies for the first time and now I have completed my first Reylo fic which also turned out to be the longest fic I have written so far. Here is the chapter we all have been waiting for, the chapter where Ben and Rey finally come together. This is very long and it's NSFW, you have been warned! Comments, kudos and feedback is very much appreciated :)

_Then, he kissed her._

At first he only pressed his lips to hers, no movement. She froze in surprise before relaxing and that's when he tentatively began to move his mouth against hers. He had never kissed anyone in his adult life, only a couple of times as a boy but that never counted. The only thing on his mind right now was how amazing it felt to kiss Rey and to feel her respond to his attempt of a kiss. 

His lips felt so full, so soft, and so warm. Rey had been kissed before but only by men who had wanted to use her to their advantage and without her consent. This, this was way different. She wanted this, and she had thought about it far too many times. When their lip movements became more urgent she clutched on to his arms but immediately thought about his wound, making her break the kiss. They looked at each other, panting. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” Ben was the one to break the silence and touched his lips with his fingertips. 

“No, don’t be...” 

Rey looked away, overwhelmed by the feelings awoken in her and feeling guilty for being so into the kiss as much as she had been. Ben took hold of her chin with his fingers, making her look back at him. 

“Don’t turn away from me Rey, I beg you.” 

Rey shook her head and her vision was blurred because of unshed tears. 

“We’re not supposed to feel like this, we were supposed to be enemies.” 

_Enemies_

“Right. We _were_. But are we really now? I believe our words, actions and emotions since we arrived here have made it quite clear that we aren’t.” 

He paused and took a few deep breaths, a blush creeping up on his face. 

“I am going to tell you something that I have wanted to tell you for a long time.” 

He closed his eyes for a second before opening them again and his big hand moved from her chin up to her cheek, cupping it. 

“I want you, Rey, I want you so much and I have wanted you for so long. Ever since we touched hands through the bond I have secretly wanted to feel your body against mine. I knew there was something with you that affected me already when I took you to the Supremacy for the first time. You make me feel things that I have never been able to feel in my whole life. For so long, I haven’t allowed myself to feel things other than hatred because I knew then it would make me look weak. But you, you have saved me from that prison. Before, I didn’t even know I was in a prison but now I do. You have made me realize that there is a life outside the First Order, a life where I can learn to heal from all I have been through and done. I have a lot to thank you for, but most of all I thank you for making me find love. You are the bravest person I have ever encountered. There is no way I can make up to the things you have done for me but I promise you that if you choose to be with me, I will give you everything I can and most of all my love.” 

He licked his lips and then swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry but not because of thirst. 

“I love you too, Rey.” 

Rey stared at him, the tears that had temporary stopped falling were now falling again. He wanted her, and not just for his own pleasure but because he loved her. He really loved her! 

“Ben...” She began, her hand coming up to trace the remains of the scar she had given him during their fight in the forest on Takodana. “I have done horrible things to you too, I have hurt you. I'm so sorry, I...” 

“Sssh.” He embraced her, his big arms coming around her upper back and she was pressed so tight against his chest she could feel his heart beating. “Remember what you said, it’s in the past now. We are different people now. Let the past die.” 

He let go of her and Rey immediately wanted to go back to her place in his arms. His confession about wanting her and loving her had caused a desire to build in her, a desire she had never felt for anybody else. It felt so foreign and yet so natural. 

“You said before that you wanted me, that you wanted to feel your body against mine. I...” Her hands caressed his chest, even while he was still clothed she could feel the heat he radiated underneath his shirt. “I want you too. When you lied down next to me last night, something that I had often thought about had come true. To feel your body next to mine like that, it ignited a fire in me. I wanted to feel you even closer, and without clothes.”

A flush went through Rey’s body and she bit her lip when she felt Ben’s fingertips dig into her hips. 

“There is a chance we might not survive this, and if we are going to be together, now is the time. I desire you, and I want you. I want to...” She closed her eyes and she took a few shaking breaths before opening them again and placing her hands on his waist. “...I want to make love to you.” 

Ben didn’t say anything at first, only continued to have her in a firm hold. Rey became nervous that she had said too much. 

“Ben?” 

Suddenly his hands came up to her neck and he leaned his forehead against hers. 

“You have no idea for how long I have waited to hear those words from you. Oh Rey, my Rey!"

Then his lips were on hers again. This time, pure instinct took over and both opened their mouths. Teeth and tongues collided in a clumsy dance and it was not difficult to tell that neither was an experienced kisser. But it didn’t matter. What mattered was that they knew that both wanted the other and it felt so good to finally be free to show how much. Rey threw her arms around Ben’s neck and he responded by grabbing her buttocks, making her gasp into his mouth and she tightened her hold on him. He backed her up against the wall and when she felt it hit her back  she broke the kiss and both took the opportunity to breathe and collect themselves. 

"Alright?” Ben asked, his hands now caressing her back. 

“Yes.” Rey then looked behind him. “Maybe we should go to the...” 

“Yes, we should.” 

Ben took Rey’s hands in his and walked backwards. They stopped at the make-shift bed they had made the night before, still holding hands.

“Are you nervous?” 

“Yeah, I... I have never done this before.” Rey’s voice faltered and she looked down at her feet. 

“Don’t worry, neither have I.” 

Rey was shocked when she heard this and shot her eyes up again. Being in his position, she had expected him to practically have women running after him. “Really? But...” 

“I know you might be surprised. But being the Master of the Knights of Ren and then Supreme Leader of the First Order doesn’t really give you the time for such…activities, even if they are only one-time-occurrences. My only experiences stem from what other people have told me and from holo’s. So, if it’s to any comfort, I am just as inexperienced and nervous as you are.” 

Rey smiled up at him. It was indeed a comfort because she didn’t have to be scared of not being good enough. She took a step forward and pressed herself against him. 

“We, we better be careful, both considering your arm and our...inexperience.” 

She felt herself blush at that last word and it made Ben smile with compassion. He released her hands and brought them up to cradle her face. 

“I really want you to be certain about this and especially if this is the only time we have, although I don't want to believe so. It might hurt for you, even if it’s hopefully only temporary. I wish I could avoid it, but...” 

Rey put her right hand above his left and turned her head to kiss his palm. 

“I know it might hurt, but I trust you. If it hurts too much, I promise to tell you.”

“I will take all the time you need, Rey. I want to feel you, all of you. I want to learn how to please you. While I wish the circumstances had been different, I want this to be a memorable moment for both of us. Will you let me try to make it so?” 

Rey shivered yet again, but this time not from cold. It was because of all the emotion he put into his words and the thoughts about what he meant running through her head. She grabbed the sides of his head and stood on her tiptoes to get closer to his face. 

“Yes, yes Ben. I will.”

That was all Ben needed to hear. He lowered his head and kissed her hard, causing her to fall back on her foot soles again and almost losing her balance. Rey responded in kind and when she opened her mouth and let her tongue touch his lips, he moaned and let her inside. Whilst opening their mouths this time, they also opened up their bond.

_I want you. I need you. I love you._

As time progressed, their kisses and movements became more synched. Every time Rey rubbed against Ben’s crotch, he moaned into her mouth and he felt himself grow harder with each stroke of Rey’s tongue against his. It wasn’t the first time he was aroused, many times before had he relieved himself in his chambers but even if he would have had the opportunity to have a woman, he most likely wouldn’t anyway. Not until he had fallen in love with Rey, she was the first woman he had ever really wanted in his whole life and that was now about to come true. 

Rey could feel her body react to Ben’s touch, her nipples hardened and strained against her shirt and wetness formed between her thighs. Her hands found their way to the zipper of his shirt and she broke the kiss to ask for permission. He gave her a simple nod and she pulled the zipper down, more and more of his torso revealing itself to her. When she had pulled it down all the way he helped her with taking it off and dropped it next to him on the floor. His upper body was now completely bare save for the bandage on his right arm. Rey had seen him like this before but only through the Force and in her mind. To actually have him in front of her like this was completely different, she had to touch him. Standing on her tip toes, she reached for his mouth again and when their eyes met she saw nothing but lust and want.

“You’re so beautiful.” She murmured against his skin while she kissed down his throat and her hands moved up his front. He was covered in battle scars and she longed to kiss each one, wanting to show him that she accepted him no matter what scars he had. 

She moved her hands slowly over his chiselled chest and shoulders, learning the contours of his body. His skin was soft yet felt hard like steel underneath. When she dared to place a kiss over the place where she could feel his heart, he shuddered. 

“Alright?” She glanced up at him. 

“Yeah, it’s just...” Ben felt tears falling from his eyes again. “I am not used to this.” 

Rey rubbed his side, trying to comfort him. “Me neither. Do you wish for me to stop? We can stop at any time.” 

Ben took her hand from his side and brought it down his stomach to just above his growing erection. 

“No, I don’t want you to stop. I want you to touch me.” 

Rey watched the obvious bulge in his pants and slowly moved her hand further down so that she covered it. She took a deep breath when she thought about how big he felt. If he felt this big now, wonder how it would look in its naked form? Turning her hand upside down she instead palmed him and he groaned and bucked his hips, causing her to abruptly step back. 

“I’m sorry, did I...” 

“No it’s fine, I am just a bit oversensitive at the moment. I think I need a break.” 

Rey’s heart sunk, thinking that he didn’t want to anymore. But when he grabbed her shoulders and his lips came down on hers, she knew that wasn’t the case. 

“Lie down!” 

The words came out in a haste between kisses and she did as he said, pulling him down with her. When she was completely on her back, he withdrew to take off his boots and socks. Then he moved to take off Rey’s boots and socks as well and put them next to his. He crawled up her body and kissed her while he started to remove her shirt. She sat up slightly so that he could lift it up easier and quickly discarded it before moving to her pants. The belt she had borrowed from him had even been too big for her to buckle so she had tied it around her waist and she laughed a bit when he had to struggle to untie it. When he finally did, he smiled in triumph and pulled both the pants and underwear down. 

When he had stripped her of all her, no, _his _clothes, he sat back on his knees to look at her. She was slim, yet muscular and curvy at the same time. Her breasts were not very big, but to him they were perfect, _she_ was perfect. Rey was a strong woman, she had proven that to him many times. But it wasn’t only her physical strength, her mental strength was what he admired her for the most and had secretly done so ever since the interrogation aboard the Supremacy. Her flat stomach went over in beautifully formed hips and a pair of toned legs. At the top of her thighs there was a triangle of dark brown, coarse hair covering her womanly parts. Ben’s mouth was half open as he took a few ragged breaths, finding it hard to grasp that this woman was actually his now. If he was hard before he certainly wasn’t less hard after seeing her like this.

He must have been staring at her for a bit too long because Rey turned away her head, looking almost ashamed and raised her hands to cover herself. 

“I’m sorry, I know I'm not...” 

“You’re perfect!” Ben interrupted her and leaned over her so that their faces were only inches apart, his eyes boring into hers and he put his hands above hers to remove them from her breasts. Then he pulled a strand of hair behind her ear. “Perfect...” He murmured before pressing his lips to hers, his other hand moving up her side to her left breast, touching it lightly at first. As he deepened the kiss, he increased the pressure of his hand and Rey squeaked when she felt him pinch her nipple between his fingers. Ben took the opportunity to insert his tongue in her mouth and they shared a few passionate kisses before he started to kiss down her jaw, her neck and then her chest until he arrived at her breasts. His hand was still squeezing one and he looked up at her, silently asking for permission to continue. She nodded and gave him a quiet “go”. Not wasting any time, Ben placed closemouthed kisses on the upper side of her right breast and when he reached her nipple he experimentally circled the tip of his tongue around it and smirked when her breast bumped his nose. 

When he closed his mouth around the hardened peak, Rey let out a strangled noise and arched her back. Ben moaned at the feeling of her soft roundness in his hand and the sweet taste of her skin on his tongue. 

“Does it feel good?” He mumbled. 

Rey shook her head up and down, “Yes, yes! Don’t stop!” 

Ben continued his ministrations; sometimes licking, sometimes sucking and sometimes nibbling and he changed breasts after a while. Rey’s hands, which had been caressing Ben’s upper back and shoulders, came up to the back of his head and grabbed the thick mane. She tugged at it and moaned as his hand and mouth worked wonders on her breasts. That in combination with dragging her fingers through the long, silky strands made her wetness between her legs even more apparent. For someone who had never been with a woman before, he surely knew what he was doing. 

“I spoke the truth when I said that I have never been with anyone before.” He suddenly spoke from underneath, the absence of his mouth causing the cool air to harden her nipple even more.

_Of course, he had heard her through the bond._

“Forgive me, I didn’t mean to doubt you...” 

He put his fingers on her lips and came up so that his face was level with hers. “I know.” 

He smiled at her and when he replaced his fingers with his lips, all thoughts vanished from Rey’s mind. 

Trying not to break the kiss, Ben shifted so that he settled between her legs, spreading them with his thighs, her bare centre against his still clothed one and his almost painfully hard cock strained against his confines. Had he done what his brain right now told him to do he would just have taken her there and then. But Ben knew better, that was not the way to treat a woman and especially not if the woman in question had made him able to love and be loved in return.

“You’re so beautiful, Rey.” 

His voice was thick with emotion and Rey was so touched by his words that her lower lip trembled. Leaving her mouth, he once again went on a path down her throat and chest. Only this time he didn’t stop at her breasts but continued down to her the upper part of her stomach, his whole body shifting backwards while he placed feather-light kisses along the way. His hand went the same path but moved even further down and reaching her most intimate place. He groaned into her soft skin when he felt how wet she was. Tracing her sex, he tried to learn her secrets and folds where no other person had been before him and he soon found the bundle of nerves with the pad of his middle finger. As he put pressure on it, Rey bucked her hips and with that movement she drenched his fingers with her wetness.

“So wet...” He whispered, unsure whether he was talking to Rey or to himself. “Do you know what this does to me? To feel you like this?” 

Rey could only moan in response. She knew what he was about to do next. A few times she had heard other women talk about it; to please another person’s intimate parts with one's mouth. Rey wasn’t completely oblivious to the pleasures of the human body, living alone had given her plenty of time to discover herself and she had even reached orgasm but had never dared to go further other than outer exploration. The thought of what Ben was about to do made her pulse quicken and it both aroused her and scared her. If his hand felt so good on her, then what would his mouth feel like? Several thoughts ran through her head at once. What if she wasn’t beautiful enough? What if she...tasted bad? 

Ben moved his head from side to side and whispered “Don't worry” in reply to her doubts. His mouth was now at level with her navel and he could feel the smell of her arousal as he got closer and closer to his destination. Arriving at the apex of her thighs, he continued his path down her left leg and he heard a whine from above, indicating that Rey was turning impatient and he smirked against her skin. 

“Patience, my love. I want to feel all of you.” 

_My love_

When his hair was out of reach for Rey, she gripped the blankets at her sides, having to hold on to something to calm herself down. Ben went back up her right leg, marveling in their perfect shape, until he came to the inside of her thigh. His tongue left a wet trail on her skin and worked his way closer until he came face to face with her sex. His nostrils flared at the sight. She was glistening with arousal and by no doubt ready for his touch. He had seen naked women before in real life but not like this, not this close and certainly no woman that he had ever wanted or much less loved. When he looked up again and found her looking back at him through hooded eyes he couldn’t wait any longer. 

“I am putting my mouth on you now, Rey. If I do something wrong you have to tell me, alright?” 

Rey answered with a nod and a small smile and put her hand on his cheek before running her fingers through his hair, she truly loved that hair. Sensing her approval, Ben put his palms on the insides of her thighs to spread them wider and began to place small kisses on her sex. First her outer lips and then he worked his way inwards before sticking out his tongue to feel the taste of her for the very first time. Rey jerked and gasped, she knew she was sensitive but it seemed like Ben’s touch made her even more so. 

“Are you good?” He asked her, barely audible because he didn’t want to let go of her. 

“Don’t stop!” She practically shouted back, then regretting her tone. “Sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” He palmed her and stroked her gently. “Just proof that you enjoy this.” 

His cocky smile made her snort, but that snort changed into a loud sigh and she threw her head back when he once again placed his mouth on her and licked her all the way from her opening up to her clit and then back down again. She gave herself to him completely and let him take the lead, trusting him as he continued to pleasure her, making sure that every inch of her got the attention it needed.

He licked her slowly, deliberately, and listened to the sounds she made, trying to notify what made her react the most and he found that she liked it a lot when he took all of her into his mouth and flicked his tongue across her opening. She was so soft, so moist, and her taste was like nothing he had ever tasted before. Not that he had anything to compare with but he doubted any other woman was like this. It was like a mixture of sweet and spicy but most of all it tasted like Rey, _his_ Rey. He had to grip her thighs harder not to grasp his cock and stroke himself for relief. But for once this wasn’t about him, this was about Rey and Rey only. Every time he had licked her clean there was a new rush of wetness and he decided that it was time for him to explore further. His pointer finger grazed her opening and he slowly inserted it, giving her time to react and adjust. He felt her stiffen and her head got up and she stared at him. Afraid that he had hurt her he started to pull out again but she grabbed his hand.

“Please, continue. It feels good, I just wasn’t prepared.” 

She pushed his hand forward so that his finger pressed into her again and her eyes fluttered shut. As he started moving in and out, she let go of him and whimpered as he picked up the pace and once again she gladly submitted herself to his touch. 

She was so warm, so wet, and Ben turned his attention to her clit while his digit continued to work her. He put pressure on the swollen nub with his tongue before lavishing it with open mouthed kisses, making sure to put emphasis on the *smack* so that she could hear the proof of her arousal. Her curly hair tickled his nose and he had to remind himself a few times that this was actually real, not just one of the many fantasies or dreams about her. 

Carefully, he pushed in a second finger to join the first and he moaned at how easily it went in but at the same time how tight she was. The thought of his cock soon being in that tight heat made it twitch and a deep rumble formed in his chest. Rey bucked her hips so hard at the new intrusion that Ben was almost knocked in the face and he had to put a hand on her stomach to hold her down. 

“You like this.” It was both a question and a statement. 

“Mhmm.” Was Rey’s only response, not able to think clearly at the moment thanks to the sensations that Ben evoked in her. 

“So do I...” 

His lips encircled her clit and he switched between sucking on it and lapping at it while he curled his fingers inside her. He had heard about a certain spot where women were extra sensitive on the front wall and he was adamant about finding that spot. When he heard Rey cry out, he knew he had found it. 

“Ben, oh...Ben!” Her voice was hoarse and she thought she was about to burn up, that’s how hot she felt. “Like that. Oh yes, like that!” 

Ben continued to rub that very same spot and flicked his tongue hard over her clit. She was tightening around him now and he knew she was close to coming apart. 

“Ben, I think...I think I'm going to...” She panted. 

“Do it Rey, do it for me. Give me the greatest pleasure and come for me!” 

Rey couldn’t hold still now. Her hips moved in tune with his fingers and one hand grabbed the blankets while the other desperately held on to the black curls that tickled the insides of her thighs. A knot that had been forming in her stomach grew bigger and tighter and she was so hot she was sweating now. A series of “Don’t stop!” left her mouth and her hips tried to match the increasing speed of his fingers. He was everywhere at once; inside her body, on her clit and inside her mind. It was all too much and when her body was so tight that she felt like she could split in half, she shut her eyes tightly and exploded. She screamed right out, not caring about eventual intruders, for this was far greater than any pleasure she had ever experienced. Her back arched, her mind went blank and her thighs clamped together, trapping Ben between them, while her inner walls time after time contracted around his fingers. Everything she could feel was him still working her through her release until she eventually came back to herself and slumped down on the blankets, no strength left in her bones but only a very comfortable fatigue. 

Ben looked at her in awe, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just made her do. He had made her experience the absolute height of pleasure, the kind of pleasure you need to trust each other fully to achieve. The Force made it even greater, making him able to feel what she was feeling. _He_ had done that to her! 

_And would continue to do so many times again._

He withdrew his fingers, immediately missing her heat, and instead caressed her tender flesh while he sat up and let her ride out the aftershocks of her orgasm. She looked so lovely right now, all spent and her legs dropped to the sides, her breasts rising and falling with every breath and her face blissful. It all made him so emotional that it felt like his heart constricted. 

When she felt the strength return to her limbs, Rey sat up on her knees to face him and kissed him, murmuring a “Thank you” and then carefully tracing the scar that went all the way down from his face to his abdomen with her lips. She felt Ben’s hand at her nape and the other first on her right buttock and then on her back. Glancing upwards she saw his eyes closed in pleasure. When she pulled away and rose to his level again, he opened them and met her gaze. 

“You have seen and felt all of me, now I want to see and feel all of you.” She merely half-whispered against his lips, mostly to try to contain her excitement. 

Ben’s hand moved from Rey’s nape to her cheek, his thumb caressing her temple. “And I will let you.” 

Rey’s hands went down to the front of his pants and she began to undo them. It was difficult because her hands were shaking out of nervousness and his very prominent erection didn’t make things easier. All the time she looked into his eyes to search for any kind of doubt but she was only met with an expression of calmness and trust. 

At last, she managed to tug his pants down his hips and he rose to kick them off, leaving him only in his black underwear. They were not leaving much to the imagination and Rey was eager to find out more. She tugged at them, making him sit down again and she began to place kisses on his chest and stomach, while one hand caressed his abdominals and the other one went to his cock. Slowly, she traced the outlines of him and she heard a moan from above her when she fully grabbed him through the fabric. This increased her confidence, making her giggle, and when her lips reached his underwear she pulled back and looked up at him. She was met with the softest look and he took her hands and motioned for her to pull down the last physical barrier. Hooking her fingers under the waistband, she quickly pulled them down just enough so that they were under his backside and she breathed in audibly at the sight before her. Ben's very much engorged sex stood right out from his body and her mouth watered at the sight. She had seen penises before but not erected like this. He was magnificent! Her hand instinctively came up to touch it. Pride filled her, pride over the fact that he was so hard because of her, she had made him this aroused. But she also became nervous, how was that possibly going to fit inside of her?

“It’s so…big.” She stammered when her fingers traced the length of him, soft texture covering strong muscle. 

Ben blushed and she saw a hint of smile through his teeth that was biting down on his lower lip. 

“I suppose it is. If you wish to stop...”

“No! No, I want to try. It's...it’s beautiful.” 

Ben couldn’t help but giggle and sensed her nervousness and fascination and he sighed when he felt her fingers encircle him. 

“Let me show you.” He put his hand over hers and tightened her grip on him. Carefully, he motioned for her to move up and down and when she had gotten both the hold and the pace right he released her. He moaned both at the sight and the feeling of her hand on him. She only just managed to reach around him with her fingers, that’s how small her hand was compared to his length. 

Rey wasn’t finished. She wanted to return the favor and learn how to please him just like he had pleased her before. Slowly, she stuck out her tongue and licked his head once, tasting the fluid that was leaking out of him. She still held him at the base and looked up to see his reaction. When she saw him take a deep breath and close his eyes, she did it again but this time with more pressure. His stomach contracted and he let out a huff. Rey smiled to herself before she finally dared to take all of him in her mouth. She felt him shiver and his hand came up to touch her hair. 

“My...oh Force...Rey...” 

When Rey had heard about this particular act before she had wrinkled her nose, thinking it sounded gross. But now she found that she really liked it. The feeling of his big girth filling her mouth made the fire burning in her lower belly spread up her body and out her limbs. He tasted like a mixture of salty and his own, masculine taste. With his guidance she tried different techniques using her lips, tongue and also her teeth. The sounds he made encouraged her further and when she took in as much of him as she could he groaned loudly and if she was able to laugh then she would. She released him from her hand and instead grabbed his buttocks with both her hands, only using her mouth and making her almost fall forward but she steadied herself. When she glanced up she was met with a look of satisfaction and want. It made her sex clench and she moaned when he seemed to harden even more in her mouth. Wetness returned to her core and the worry about not liking and not being able to please the man she loved was long gone. 

Ben couldn’t believe this. If seeing her using her hand on him before was arousing then this made him almost combust right away. She sat on her knees, bending over, and he had a great view of her beautiful back. His hips started to meet her mouth’s movements in gentle thrusts and he collected her hair in a fist as she continued to suck him, lick him and caress him. When her other hand moved around from his arse and cupped his sack, rolling his balls between her fingers, he began to feel the familiar tightening feeling in his lower back indicating that he wouldn’t last much longer. His breathing turned shallow and he knew that if she didn’t stop now, this would be over way sooner than he hoped for. He grabbed her hair tighter and pulled. 

”Stop!” 

Rey almost jumped and released him in the process. “Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, not at all. It…it takes longer time for me to recover than it takes for you. I want to be inside you when I…come.” 

“I understand.” Rey nodded and smiled up at him, she found it adorable that he was so embarrassed. She gave him one last kiss on the tip before kissing her way up his abdominals. She was interrupted however. 

“Come here!” 

Ben hissed and grabbed her arms to pull her up to him. When she was at his level he kissed her deeply and carefully lowered her to the bed of blankets again. They temporarily separated their lips while he pulled off his boxers the rest of the way before joining again and Rey spread her legs so that he could fit between them. For the first time in their lives, they knew what it felt like to be in one’s barest form against another person and it was nothing like anything they had ever felt before. They moaned between kisses and clung to each other, their bodies mimicking the movements of their tongues and teeth, tangling as they were desperate to feel every inch of hot skin they could reach. Desperate for closeness, desperate for warmth. 

_Desperate_ _for love_ _._

Eventually both had to break off for air and they looked at each other, both shifting so that the head of Ben’s cock touched her opening. 

“Are you ready?” He asked, trying to fight the urge to move forward as the tip of him got covered in her wetness. 

“I think so.” Rey said, her hands running down his muscular back. “Please, just go slow.” 

“I’ll try. Hold on to me if you need to.” 

He grabbed himself with his right hand and supported himself on his left elbow. Holdingeach other’s gaze, he slowly moved forward and pushed into her. A sharp pain went through her sex and Rey’s breath got caught in her throat. She pressed her nails into his back and shut both her mouth and eyes tightly but couldn’t hold back the few tears that threatened to break through. Ben paused and kissed her, trying to distract her somewhat from the pain. 

“Breathe Rey, breathe.” He whispered before kissing her eyelids. 

He could need the same encouragement but because she felt too good to be true. But he couldn’t bear to feel her pain and would do anything to spare her any discomfort. 

Rey breathed deeply and felt herself open up more, there was still a small sting but it was bearable. Ben felt her adjusting too and moved forward again, his whole body tense and every nerve ending on edge thanks to her warm and tight sheath surrounding him inch by inch. When he had gone as far as he could, he stopped once again and looked down at Rey. She was still taking deep breaths but the furrow between her brows were gone, she had released her hold on him and her lips were slightly parted. Then he looked down at her sex and luckily there was no blood, only the sight of his cock rooted deeply inside her. 

“Rey...” He grunted, trying to hold himself together. “Does it hurt?”

“Not really anymore. I only need a few more moments.” 

Ben nodded and held still, now even supporting himself on his injured arm but he quickly glanced at the bandage and it looked good and no new bleeding had occurred. This gave him the chance to compose himself and calm down, taking in the feeling of her hot, throbbing walls around him. He needed to be patient, he knew that, otherwise the chance was great that he would hurt and scar her forever and he would never forgive himself if that happened. 

Rey felt herself flutter around him, the tension disappearing, and the pain was taken over by a pleasure unlike any she had ever felt before. She opened her eyes and looked straight into his, a faint smile on her face. “You can go now.” She breathed and brought her hand up his chest to his nape, thrusting upwards slightly to encourage him. Ben wasted no time; he retreated from her, the same pace as when he entered her for the first time, and entered her again with a little more force. Both groaned in unison and silenced each other with a searing kiss, giving all the love they felt for each other into that kiss. When they broke off Ben picked up his pace slightly and every time he entered her, she gasped loudly. 

“Oh...Ben...it...feels...so...good...” 

“Ugh...Rey...ugh...” 

Both struggled to get the words out, the pleasure almost overwhelming already and Ben had to concentrate on keeping himself in place and not move too fast. 

“Kiss me!” He breathed, lowering his head towards hers. 

Rey's head lifted from the ground and their lips met halfway, awkwardly, and almost knocking into each other because of the thrusts and when Ben accidentally bumped hard into Rey’s nose she pulled back almost in shock. He looked back at her in horror and was about to retreat from her before she caught his neck and made him look at her again. Slowly, she moved both her hands down his shoulders, his arms, then moved to his stomach just above where they were joined, up his abdominals to his chest and back to his neck. 

_Slowly. Gently. It's alright._

Quivering at her touch and comforted by her words in his mind, Ben swallowed hard and resumed his thrusts. For once, he managed to push away evil thoughts from his mind, much thanks to the bond that connected them and gave them both strength. 

They moved in silence for an unknown amount of time, the only sounds heard were their sighs and moans and the rustling of blankets beneath them. Ben wanted so much to move faster than he did and especially now that Rey clearly enjoyed this, but he wanted more for this to last as long as possible. The sight beneath him made his heart melt; Rey’s looking up at him or sometimes with her head tilted to the side, her features completely relaxed and sometimes she would give him an encouraging smile. Her skin was glowing with perspiration and her breasts moved with her as he slowly kept pushing inside her. Their future together was uncertain and they didn’t even know if they would make it out of here alive, but for Ben one thing was certain; if he were to die now, he would die as the luckiest man in the galaxy. 

Rey felt complete in ways that she never knew she had felt incomplete before, when he pulled back to enter her again her sex instinctively clenched around him to keep him in place. She wrapped her legs loosely around his hips and her hands were placed on the small of his back, trying to match his thrusts and with that pressing him closer to her. Never had she felt so safe in her life as she did in this moment, nothing was a match for the physical and mental bond they shared. 

A new wave of heat was beginning to build inside Rey, and she decided that she didn’t want slow any longer. Ben had his face buried in her shoulder and it was just for her to turn slightly to her right. “Faster!” She whispered into his ear, capturing the earlobe between her teeth and nibbling it softly. Nothing was heard but a grunt and a huff but Ben had clearly heard her words because his thrusts became bigger and more powerful. Rey knew that both were close to completion and she wanted to help him the best she could.

Perspiration was practically dripping from them both despite the temperature in the air and their bodies were turning slippery. Their breathing had become irregular and the sounds coming from them mixed into a duet of pure, raw passion. Ben knew he wouldn’t last much longer and especially not with Rey tightening around him with what felt like every thrust indicating that she wasn’t far either. 

“Rey, are you...” 

“Touch me! Here!” 

She put her hand on her clit to demonstrate how he should do it and it didn’t take long until he removed her hand and repeated her instructions. It was slightly difficult to support himself on just one elbow but the adrenaline pumping through his vessels and his urgency to give Rey what she wanted made it seem like nothing. 

There was no going back now, Rey’s body needed this release as much as it needed air and her heartbeat matched the pace of their movements. When the only things she was aware of were Ben’s now relentless pumping in and out of her and his fingers rubbing her clit, she couldn’t hold back any longer. Arching into him, she screamed out her release. Her inner walls contracted around him, wave after wave of intense pleasure washing over her but instead of water it felt like fire. She lost track of everything, feeling like she was gone for a few moments before coming back to consciousness. Ben was still seeking his own climax and even if Rey had just come down from her high, she more than anything wanted to watch him reach his peak. 

Seeing and feeling Rey come undone was the final straw for Ben. With what felt like his last powers, he lifted himself up on his hands for better leverage and with a few more thrusts, it was his turn to come. He stilled, clenched his jaw and let out a guttural groan as he felt his lower back muscles spasm and he spilled himself inside her. Closing his eyes tightly he saw stars and with one last shudder, he collapsed down on her. At the very last moment he managed to soften his fall and tried to put as much of his weight as possible between their legs. When his cock twitched one last time, the last of his seed entered her depths and he felt himself go slack. He buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent, and her soft breasts brushed against his hard chest. Never in his life had he felt this happy and if he had to move right now, someone would have to kill him and drag him away. 

At that moment, when they were both finished and completely worn out, they felt the Force come over them, like a warm security blanket and it made them feel closer to each other if that was even possible. Rey could feel his hot breath against her neck and his heavy body weighing her down but she didn’t mind. Soon he lifted himself up and captured her swollen lips with his own, the intensity of the kiss making Rey mewl and her fingers once again pulled at his now damp, dark curls. His large hand went up her stomach, over her breast and grazing her hard nipple in the process, to the nape of her neck. When they ended the kiss, Ben looked down at her, still somewhat delirious. 

“Are you alright?”   
  
“Yes.” She smiled and her eyes brimmed with tears. “You?” 

“Yes!” His breaths were still deep and his chest expanded and contracted with each one. “I don’t want to leave. I could die happy like this.” 

“Me too.” She tenderly removed a few strands of hair that were glued to his forehead. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you in the beginning.” 

He looked down, wanting to conceal his own tears and guilt but she caught his chin and caressed his lower lip with her thumb. 

“You didn’t. We both knew it could maybe hurt a bit but everything else made up for it. Don't worry.” 

“Was it...you really liked it then?” Even if she had told him both now and during the act that it had felt good and he had even felt it, his insecurities still had a strong hold and he needed to hear this from her. 

She pecked his nose and touched his temples. “Yes, I really liked it. It was amazing, Ben, you were amazing.” 

“Thank you, you were amazing too.” 

He kissed her forehead, then her lips and removed himself from between her legs and laid down next to her. The absence of him inside her was notable and she felt empty, like she had never known anything else. While Ben tried to calm down and control his breathing, she turned to him and caressed his arm with her fingers. Even with the act being over, she still felt a strong urge to touch him. She then felt something trickle down her sex and when she looked down, she saw his semen dripping out of her and she blushed. When Ben saw the same, he let out a silent growl. It was _his_ seed that was now dripping out of her, _his_ seed that had imprinted on her most inner secrets. He had been her first and would hopefully be her only lover just like she had been his first and, if he was to decide, only lover too. 

“Is it supposed to do that?” Rey looked up at him, still blushing. 

“Yes, it always does. Do you want me to wash it away?” 

“No, it’s fine. Don’t go, I want you to stay.” 

“Then I will stay.” 

He cradled her against his chest and she draped her arm around his middle, both pulling blankets over them as the warmth began to subside. They stayed silent for some time, letting the Force do its job of connecting them and Ben ran his knuckles across Rey’s shoulders. Suddenly, something struck Rey’s mind and she shifted and sought out his face. 

“Ben, there is something I want to ask you, and I want you to be honest.” 

“Alright, what is it?” 

“If we get out of here alive and I were to...become with child, would you father it then?” 

Ben sat up and supported himself on his left arm, looking down at her. “You think you will?” 

“It’s not very likely, I am at a period in my cycle where I am not very fertile. But it could happen of course. I wanted to ask you just in case.” 

Ben appeared to be lost in thought for a moment, but then he nodded, took hold of her cheek in a firm grip and pressed his forehead to hers. 

“Yes, Rey, I would. Undoubtedly. But I don’t think I would be a good father.” 

“I am sure you would, with lots of practice.” 

A subtle smile formed on Ben’s lips, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders again, tighter this time, and he swept his thumb across her chin. 

“A child with you, something I have never even dared to dream of.” 

“If I even do get pregnant, and if we ever get out of here alive.” 

“We will get out of here, somehow we will. If we don’t, then at least we are together, that’s all that matters.” 

Rey nodded, feeling reassured by his words, and they linked their hands between them before they took turns in kissing the backs of them. Suddenly they heard a booming sound and the wreck seemed to shake. 

“What was that?” Ben asked, panic-stricken. 

Rey stood up and dressed in her own clothes, feeling a bit light-headed while doing so and her body was limp from their lovemaking. There was a dull ache between her legs but it didn’t worry her, it had been her first time after all and she knew it would pass soon enough. She had quickly washed her clothes the day before and thankfully they were now dry. When she went to the windows and looked out to her right, her eyes lit up. 

“It’s the Falcon! Ben, my friends heard my signal. We will be saved!"

Ben was relieved of course, but the nagging thoughts of them wanting to kill him still haunted his mind. He rose himself, got dressed in the same clothes he had worn before and joined her at her side. 

“I know what you’re thinking Ben, but trust me. I know they will listen to me.” 

Ben searched out her hand and grabbed it while they both watched the Falcon in the distance as it shut off its engines. It was getting dark outside and the wind had picked up again. 

“I do trust you. It's them I don’t trust. They will aim their weapons at me the moment they see me.” 

“Not before I tell them not to.” She turned to him without releasing his hand. “And not before I tell them that I love you.” 

Ben turned as well so that they now were facing each other. 

“Why would that be enough for them to spare me? Like I said before, I am still Kylo to them.” 

Rey released his hands and instead brought them up to his neck, stepping closer so that the distance between them was minimal. 

“Because you love me too, Ben Solo, and while learning how to love, you have also learned to see the light.” 

_The End_


End file.
